Continuous Failed Arson Attempts

This is following up my entry about Kannon's brutality towards his only brother. This is where you give a slight "Aww" but not really care.

I'm brushing my teeth with an intensity in my eyes that says good-bye to plaque and gingivitis. Like a champion sheep shearer I attack with precision and power. As I go around my teeth with one last lap I feel a sudden pain that is all too familiar. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kannon sprint towards our room.
He had thrown a crudely constructed paper airplane into my left eye.
Once again, so it is my nature, I do not retaliate.

Now I'm in my closet preparing for sleep when a couple things happen in almost an instant. Kannon jumped into the closet. He ignited a blow torch. Tried to light my clothing and I on fire. Locked me into, what he thought was, a burning closet.
Once again, so it is my nature, I do not retaliate.

I'm cuddling up into the protective warmth of my bed. I feel a foreign object on my leg. A dead bird? A knife that killed a bird? An Enya CD? What could it be but the paper airplane that penetrated my eye only minutes before. I discard it across the room to be picked up at a later date when... Kannon bursts through the door with a wild gleam in his eye that says "I really like this blow torch" What could he do? He picks up the now humiliating paper airplane. Lights it. And proceeds to do the unthinkable.
He tried to light my bed on fire with me in it.
I awoke dumbstruck.
Once again, so it is my nature, I do not retaliate.
But his excuse to my mother was that he was in total control of the situation. Firm reprimand- I think not.
Now my bed smells of the fresh aroma of a nicely stoked bonfire riddled with bleached copy paper.
thanks Kannon.

Camels: Lethargic Exoduster or Pulchritudinous Mode of Portage

This is my persuasive essay
*disclaimer: I seriously do not condone any of these acts. They are putrid and one should only stoop to these lows if they are in a pretty bad-to-slightly life threatening situation. Sorry for the fact that it rambles on a bit but I kinda wanted a descent-to-fairly good grade. And now i will stop using this repetitive-to-rather lame method of measuring things. Enjoy.

One might see such dromedaries in a torrid Arabian setting, lumbering along at dreadfully slow paces. But in fact, they have a myriad of uses including their profuse efficiency, exuberant amount of health benefits, and the fact that unlike their horse brethren, they require miniscule amounts of maintenance. Camels should become a main mode of transportation not solely because they are “truly wonderful animals” but because they are more economically friendly too .

The amount of money spent on a horse includes vet services, utilities, track, bedding, training, labor, and other miscellaneous supplies; while on the other hand, a horse requires very little of each of these tedious things. Camels rarely get sick or injured, they require no bedding since they have been trained to sleep on the Sahara sands at night, and camels usually need no training due to their extremely affectionate nature. Also they consume much less food and water than horses, since they are accustomed to venturing long and far without supplies and necessities most and animals would succumb without.

Camels have a slew of benefits that would tempt any wary traveler. The milk of a camel is highly nutritious. It contains 3 times more Vitamin C than cow’s milk and also contains Vitamin B, Iron, and vital unsaturated fatty acids and is known to treat hepatitis. According to Anthony Fletcher,” Another major [benefit] is that … camel[‘s] milk keeps longer than cow's.” Camel urine has been known to treat skin diseases as ringworm, tinea, abscesses, sores, and ulcers. It also cleanses and conditions hair. And surprisingly enough camel dung can cure dysentery and be used as a cooking aid.

Dromedaries and Bactrians are also utterly efficient mammals. They require little food and can go without water for days on end. They store fat, not water, in their humps on their backs which allows them to extract necessary energy from that in trying times. They can also carry immensely heavy loads that would make any horse buckle.

Now most people see camels as exceedingly sluggish creatures. This is the reason so many people would chose to ride a horse to rescue a fair maiden from a keep. While horses are much more glamorous camels are more practical, and by no means are they slow. They can maintain speeds of 25 mph for over an hour and can sprint 40 mph for shorter distances.

Camels are known as the “ships of the desert” even though they thrive in almost any climate. They produce many healthful assets and have proven themselves worthy and efficient vessels of movement. In the coming days they shall be know, to all people of the land, by Latin as mundus traba or in English the “ships of the world”.

P.S. I don't even know if that's the right latin

A Day, Well 2 hours, in the Life

I returned from school on a Tuesday, in my opinion the worst day of the week, idk why don't ask me it just is. I was in a sour mod for the fact that Kannon and I had endured one half hour of garbage getting thrown at us from a girl that likes Kannon. Beside the point that will soon reveal itself. As is my everyday routine I enter the kitchen with a relief of a good meal and sanctuary. As I open the fridge it's cool air washes over me like penetrating and invasive lasers at a techno rave concert. For a better analogy it was like bathing in warm butterscotch pudding except cold. To my dismay the fridge is packed to the brim with food since my mom went to the always low priced Woodman's (employee owned). She had also rearranged everything. My hunger is percolating and I can't seem to find the necessary ingredients for a Gyroza. For those of you who don't know what a Gyroza is let me elaborate through this text. Best-Thing-Ever To-Eat-After-School. or a pizza on gyro bread. I'm starting to get frantic. I call out to my mom.She doesn't answer. Kannon sits in the corner of the kitchen with a smug triumphant grin. He is already eating a pizza not a gyroza. After I make the pizza, yes I found the stuff and i am not proud of how, and i will save you the grueling process of making it. I start to feel very sleepy. Enter through the threshold into my living room where I lie down on the couch. The couch caresses and supports my dangling limbs. I feel like a fallen warrior riding the back of a steed toward safety.
I awake. My head is throbbing with a instant searing pressure. My first thought, "Shoot Hellboy is in my house".No he's fictional, "Monkeys with spearguns. I'll just pretend that I'm dead" Also fiction. Could it be...
I open my eyes cautiously, as to avoid any more projectiles. through the blur i see Kannon running into the kitchen calling my mother. I come around and find a remote to a almost vintage Philips DVD player that my sister has chewed on countless times. I was like sherlock holmes putting together the case of the great remote caper. But before i could do any super-sleuthing I heard Kannon confessing to mom that I was going to wake up in a bad mood.
Apparently in Kannon's world when you want wake someone out of a slumber you simply throw a remote at their head from point-blank range.
When I confronted Kannon about this mishap he tried to convince me that he was "helping me come to dinner." NO. I told him even if i was awake there was no way that i could have blocked this RPR ( rocket propelled remote) from my trajectory, because my arms were awkwardly pinned beneath my body. He came up with the strong rebuttal of " well you could have stopped it if you really wanted to." Thanks Kannon.