A Day, Well 2 hours, in the Life

I returned from school on a Tuesday, in my opinion the worst day of the week, idk why don't ask me it just is. I was in a sour mod for the fact that Kannon and I had endured one half hour of garbage getting thrown at us from a girl that likes Kannon. Beside the point that will soon reveal itself. As is my everyday routine I enter the kitchen with a relief of a good meal and sanctuary. As I open the fridge it's cool air washes over me like penetrating and invasive lasers at a techno rave concert. For a better analogy it was like bathing in warm butterscotch pudding except cold. To my dismay the fridge is packed to the brim with food since my mom went to the always low priced Woodman's (employee owned). She had also rearranged everything. My hunger is percolating and I can't seem to find the necessary ingredients for a Gyroza. For those of you who don't know what a Gyroza is let me elaborate through this text. Best-Thing-Ever To-Eat-After-School. or a pizza on gyro bread. I'm starting to get frantic. I call out to my mom.She doesn't answer. Kannon sits in the corner of the kitchen with a smug triumphant grin. He is already eating a pizza not a gyroza. After I make the pizza, yes I found the stuff and i am not proud of how, and i will save you the grueling process of making it. I start to feel very sleepy. Enter through the threshold into my living room where I lie down on the couch. The couch caresses and supports my dangling limbs. I feel like a fallen warrior riding the back of a steed toward safety.
I awake. My head is throbbing with a instant searing pressure. My first thought, "Shoot Hellboy is in my house".No he's fictional, "Monkeys with spearguns. I'll just pretend that I'm dead" Also fiction. Could it be...
I open my eyes cautiously, as to avoid any more projectiles. through the blur i see Kannon running into the kitchen calling my mother. I come around and find a remote to a almost vintage Philips DVD player that my sister has chewed on countless times. I was like sherlock holmes putting together the case of the great remote caper. But before i could do any super-sleuthing I heard Kannon confessing to mom that I was going to wake up in a bad mood.
Apparently in Kannon's world when you want wake someone out of a slumber you simply throw a remote at their head from point-blank range.
When I confronted Kannon about this mishap he tried to convince me that he was "helping me come to dinner." NO. I told him even if i was awake there was no way that i could have blocked this RPR ( rocket propelled remote) from my trajectory, because my arms were awkwardly pinned beneath my body. He came up with the strong rebuttal of " well you could have stopped it if you really wanted to." Thanks Kannon.